She didn’t Slapped Him for Touching Her – What She did Instead will Shock You!
Groping girls in crowded bus, trail or metro is not uncommon, most of the teen girls must be able to relate to this incident. This man tried touching this brave girl and felt the shock of his life.
I feel sad Ruth Mathen, that you had to go through this, but I am so proud of you for doing the right thing. Well, ideally nothing bad should happen to people we care about, but it isn’t an ideal world. And when situations go beyond ideal, your reaction is what distinguishes you from ordinary. Commendable courage and clarity. So proud. More power to you.
Read the story of this brave girl and let this PERVERT be shamed:
This pervert is Ashok Sakharam Nalve, (age 43) a resident of Diva, who molested me yesterday.
Last night, I left my office (in Goregaon, where I’m currently doing an internship) at around 9.45 in the night, and as usual, caught BEST Bus 460 to reach home in Mulund. I was sitting at the designated ladies’ seat. Suddenly, I felt a hand on the right side of my chest, feeling me up and then tugging at my bra. I looked down to see this man, who was sitting behind me and touching me through the space between the seats, coolly slipping his hand back. I stood up and asked him what he was doing. He didn’t deny it, just started saying ‘Sorry, chukun jhaala.’ This happened at 10.45 pm, near Powai Lake. He is staring at me with unblinking eyes, no shame, no guilt, no embarrassment – almost as if he was a repeat offender and was used to it. Well, I stood up and continued shouting. By that time, everybody on the not-so-crowded bus was listening with rapt attention. I explained what he had done to the conductor, and requested that the bus be stopped. The conductor asked me what I wanted to do – should we make him get off the bus? I said no, I will not let this go; I will drag him to the police station and file a complaint. I had no idea how to do it, or what the process was, all I knew was that I was not letting him get away. Some men on the bus stood up and began the usual tirade – tumhare ghar par maa-behen nahi hai kya? He continued sitting there, no response. These uncles then told me to slap him, because that was apparently the “only way people like him would understand”, and then let him go. I refused. I didn’t slap him. I wanted him to get his due sentence at the hands of the police themselves. What scared me the most was his cold, calculated response; like I said, he seemed like a repeat offender.
By that time, I called my father, and told him to come to Bhandup Police Station, which is where the conductor agreed to stop the bus. When the bus stood in front of the chowky, this pervert understood that I was absolutely serious about dragging him to the station. The conductor got off the bus to call some policemen. This pervert tried to get off the bus and make a run for it, but I physically restrained him and asked him to take a seat.
By this time, my parents, the bus conductor, and the policemen had reached. At Bhandup Police Station, the inspector-in-charge decided that the incident was not under his jurisdiction, and that I must file an FIR at Powai Police Station itself. The inspector-in-charge at Powai Police Station finally took my statement, registered an FIR and booked this pervert under Section 354 of the IPC (outraging the modesty of a woman), an offence with a rigorous imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years, or with fine, or with both. I will be called to court soon for the hearing.
My intention here is not just to ‘shame’ this pervert. It’s to tell all of you reading this, especially the girls and women out there, to not take offences like these lightly. Sitting in the foyer in college, one overhears so many incidents of girls we know or friends of girls we know who have been groped, touched inappropriately, leered at, harassed, offended and pawed. And phir kya kiya? Kuch nahi, do thappad laga diye, aur bas. We let them go. Here is where we commit this HUGE mistake. People who commit such offences are rarely first time offenders. After each incident, they get more emboldened, till the ultimate crime they think they can commit is rape and murder. They get emboldened because of our silence.
We take the experience, roll it into this small bitter pill, swallow it down with water and forget about it.
Just one of the many things we girls have to ‘suffer’ that men will never understand.
ANY sort of harassment or violation of your modesty, your body and your personal space is A CRIME.
A CRIME that deserves PUNISHMENT. Yes, the process takes time. Yes, the follow-up takes time. My ordeal ended at 1:15 am, after all was said and done. But look at the bigger picture here.
The next time something like this happens to you, or you see something like this happening around you. STAND UP FOR IT. It sounds very scary – standing up to this grown man, when for what seemed like an eternity no one came to my aid. My heart was thumping in my chest, but I was determined to not let him go.
But understand, you are doing this FOR YOUR FUTURE SELF.
Don’t just shut up – your SILENCE is NOT a mark of “STRENGTH” or “ENDURANCE”.
So it doesn’t matter whether you are a boy or girl, man or woman, reading this. Please, please, go out of your way and help out a fellow human in need and bring the wrongdoer to the book. DO NOT put up with what is happening to you, or around you. The law is now much more stringent and the perpetrators CAN and WILL be punished appropriately.
Stand up for it. Don’t take this lying down. Don’t grit your teeth and dismiss it. And most importantly, DON’T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT.
Sending lots of love and strength your way.
This picture must have been clicked at the police station and even here his eyes look unfazed and calm.. the reason – probably he knows the law will let him go with a light fine and a public apology. After all in our system even the gravest of offenders are let off easily.